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It’s almost Father’s Day and you are reminded that not only are you a father, but a single man. You want to get back out there and date but whoa, do things look different! There are definitely several challenges to being a single dad, such as dealing with the emotional turmoil of divorce, the responsibility of raising children solo and keeping up with the demands of finances and your job. For men, it can be even tougher because you are forced into tasks you may not have been involved in before like shuffling the kids to school and making lunches. Although it is an adjustment, stepping into a new role can be a rewarding and give you a sense of empowerment. In fact, dating can be fun and even more rewarding at this point in your life. The key is to create balance amongst the several roles you play, stay focused on what it is you want and re-learn the art of dating in this new life. It may have been a decade or more since you’ve been “out there”, and you may feel confused or downright clueless about how to get your game back to attract new women into your world. Here are easy tools that you can start implementing that will help create that unstoppable confidence to date with success.
Pay attention to your image
Your date clothes should look different from your corporate look, the daddy clothes or the acid-washed jeans of the 90s that you sported when you last dated. Overall, your dating image should be cool, youthful, sexy, and most of all… updated. Get rid of the pleated pants and the college jerseys. Women really pay attention to how you dress in forming a first impression. Use this time as an opportunity to create a new look with updated clothes and a new sense of style. This will also help you with your confidence and the way you carry yourself.
Learn how to approach and talk to women
Whether you married young or had been in a long marriage, so many people feel clueless about how to date again. It’s like waking up from a coma and finding yourself in a foreign land having to learn a new language with new social norms. If it has been a while since flirting with women, it might be uncomfortable when first engaging an attractive woman. This usually stems from being nervous about saying the wrong thing, being out of the game a while and/or fear of rejection. Get out of your head. Just be in the moment and talk with her. Don’t just talk about yourself. Ask questions about her life. Be careful not to engage in a Q&A session like an interview with memorized canned questions. Rather strive for an easy conversation. Learn to be more playful and mix it up a bit to enjoy the new you and you’ll see how easy it is to create attraction. Most women love when you give them attention, especially if you say things in an authentic way. The truth of the matter is that your “dating muscle” is atrophied after not using it for a while so you have to exercise it again.
Understand how to meet quality women and create real connections
Dating is definitely different than what it was years ago. Perhaps you met your ex in college at a fraternity party or perhaps you hung out in groups where meeting people was effortless. It is all different now, especially if you are dating with kids and working full time. We also live in a society today where people work far from home, date people in other states and lead busy lives. The problem is that this can generate negative experiences and attitudes about dating, which in turn creates a hardened shell that prevents you from meeting others. Today it’s even more important to make a conscious effort to meet people and learn how to create emotional connections. I often talk about diversifying your dating portfolio. Like in a financial portfolio, the more you diversify, the more you reduce your risk of losing it all and increase your chances for success.
Getting back out there and stepping up your game can be intimidating. But this is your chance to explore the world and meet various women. By doing this you’ll discover who you are separate from the woman you were with for many years and find out what you would like and need in a future relationship. Make sure you also go to my site www.seltzerstyle.com and get my free newsletters, videos and style guides. Happy Father’s Day and happy dating!