Does anyone know where the phrase, “Lighten up Francis” comes from? It is actually from the classic movie Stripes to the character “Psycho” played by Conrad Dunn. Psycho says “Anyone calls me Francis, I’ll kill em.” To which the drill Sgt. Hulka (Warren Oates) says “Lighten up, Francis.” It refers to taking something too seriously or getting too wrapped up in something. Really this is a great phrase to think about when you are dating. Instead of focusing on all of the challenges, look at dating in the jungle as an adventure. Dating can be fun and it starts within YOU. There is nothing more appealing and attractive than when you are light, positive and laughing on a date. Remember like attracts like so if you want to change the patterns of the unhealthy relationships, you have to start changing your view so you attract something different. So if you want to bring in some fun with a partner, YOU need to have fun. How you say? Here are some quick tips to get you lighter:

Have Fun – It starts with you and how you are living your life. Laugh, do something different to break up your routine, dance, listen to music, take an improv class… live life! Get involved with more things where you are navigating with your body and senses and get out of your serious self. This will also help you flirt better with your body. For more tips on how to do that, check my blog here.

Maintain Positivity – There is nothing better than smiling, letting loose and having fun on a date. If you have been through a lot and have had some struggles, I understand that it is hard at times. But be careful about being negative, having regret and wishing you could turn back time. Our words have creative power and they can be misused by continuing to tell stories of struggle and sadness. Eckhart Tolle has a great quote for this, “Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in.”

Laugh – If you watched the video above, you see my friend and comedian, Abby Lodmer talk about how humor can really uplift your spirits and create a positive energy on a date. Laughter truly is the best medicine. In fact, research shows that when laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. So release those endorphins and relax the body with laughter on the first date!