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How To Help Your Single Friend Find Love

How To Help Your Single Friend Find Love
Featuring Kim Seltzer

You’ve got major wingman/wingwoman potential. It’s time to tap into it.


We all have that one perpetually single friend who keeps striking out in their dating life, despite being an amazing person.

It’s frustrating to watch because you just know there’s someone out there who’s worthy of them, if only they could find that person.

If you feel bummed out over the situation, just imagine how burned out they’re feeling about the whole thing.

In these dire Tinder times, chances are your friend could use a little encouragement ― and maybe a little outside help in finding someone decent. That’s where you come in.

Below, dating experts share six tips for becoming the best wing-person possible for your bestie. match for them as they think.

1. Set them up with someone who’s just as amazing as they are.

You might not be able to save your friend from dating another fuckboy, ghoster or commitment-phobe, but you can set them up with people you think have potential.

Scout for your friend: Get some intel on that cute guy at the office who always opens the door for everyone. Think about friends you have in other circles who might be your friend’s type. Once you’ve zeroed in on a few people, get busy making intros, said Lori Zaslow, a Manhattan-based dating coach and matchmaker.

“The great thing here is that you can build them up to the person you’re setting them up with and help establish a positive vibe before they even meet,” she told HuffPost. “That will give your friend more confidence walking in the door versus that awkward feeling of a first date with a total stranger.

2. Focus on listening more than lending advice.

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Your advice is probably well-intentioned, but usually all a single person wants is someone to listen to them rant.

Your advice is probably well-intentioned, but usually all a single person wants is someone to listen to them rant.

Don’t lend your friend the same tired advice they’ve heard a million times before: “There are plenty of fish in the sea” or “You’re a great person, so just be yourself!” Also, don’t assume whatever you did to meet your S.O. will work for them; falling in love isn’t prescriptive. We all take different paths.

As well-intentioned as your advice may be, what your friend needs most is for you to listen. You need a sounding board ― or a good therapist ― after your umpteenth bad Tinder date.

“In general, I’d say avoid unsolicited advice and canned platitudes, which can make your friend feel frustrated and invalidated,” said Jessica Engle, a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay area. “Instead, focus on listening and empathizing; offer solutions and feedback only if requested directly.”

3. If the red flags are mounting up, say something.

We’re all guilty of slipping on rose-colored glasses when we meet someone who seems good on paper. The problem is, those rosy sunnies make red flags all but impossible to see. If you sense that something’s off with your friend’s new S.O. ― they’re quick to fits of anger or already seem disinterested in your pal ― offer some real talk, said Kimberly Seltzer, a dating coach and the owner of Elite Image Makeovers.

“Often friends see red flags right when they meet a potential match, but they may not say anything in fear of hurting them,” she said. “Be honest. Let the friend know about the concerns and tell them how that person might not be as good of a match for them as they think.” Click here to keep reading…

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