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DatingAdvice.com Feature | Kimberly Seltzer Encourages Singles to Remake Themselves From the Outside In

Kimberly Seltzer goes beyond conventional therapy to help singles change not only their inner lives but also revamp their confidence and appearance. As one of America’s top Dating Makeover and Confidence Expert, Kimberly teaches her clients to overcome issues related to both dating and presentation. She considers herself an action-oriented therapist who helps people tackle their challenges — from their outer appearance to their internal disposition. Her strategies with clients include testing new dating skills and trying on new outfits in front of a department store mirror. And Kimberly tailors her services to every client’s unique personality, so they can learn to be the best version of themselves.

Dating Makeover and Confidence Expert Kimberly Seltzer changed the life of one client who couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror. When Kimberly and the client went to a department store in search of a dating outfit — which is one of her coaching services — the woman broke down in tears. She told Kimberly that she’d covered all the mirrors in her house because she hated looking at herself so much.

“What was profound about her case was that she was giving all her power away. She hated her body and didn’t have any dating clothes. Expressing her needs was very hard and she kept apologizing,” Kimberly said.

The issue with the client wasn’t only that she didn’t like what she saw in the mirror. She also worried about what others thought of her and her body — not about her own needs.

But at the store, Kimberly encouraged her to try on a new dating outfit anyway. One of Kim’s beliefs is that clients may not be satisfied with their appearances simply because they don’t know what to wear. In the new outfit, the client caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stopped in her tracks.

“She froze. The tears started to drip down her face and she said, ‘Kim, I’ve never seen myself so beautiful.’ It was a breakthrough moment,” Kimberly said.

From there, the client made incredible progress. Kimberly scheduled a photo shoot for pictures to use on dating platforms — and the client even gushed about how beautiful she looked. More importantly, the woman started believing that she could have healthy relationships.

“She started dating up a storm and weeding out the unhealthy guys,” Kim said. “She landed a great guy. And it all started with looking in the mirror.”

This client’s story epitomizes Kim’s philosophy as a coach. Whereas many coaches may believe that clients should work through their self-confidence issues from the inside out, Kimberly said she thinks clients can benefit from starting with their appearance.

“I bust the myth of working from the inside out. My belief is you have to work from the outside in,” she said.

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