After numerous exciting conversations, great photo exchanges and fun IMs, you finally have a date with the guy you’ve been chatting with. All is looking good, and the build up to this point has been amazing. But now what? Your palms grow sweaty as you start to think about what to say, what to wear, and you start to create stories in your head about whether or not you will like each other.
The truth is that you need to let go of all of these anxieties, take a deep breath and follow these 4 “Dating For Dummies” steps. These steps will help you and get you back on your way to successfully completing your first date – and possibly starting an offline romance.
1. Date Prep 101
There is nothing worse than being rushed and not properly preparing for a date. Make sure you give yourself plenty of time beforehand to get in the mood, know where you are going to meet him, and have an outfit in mind.
Always schedule a date at least 1-2 hours after working so you can decompress and get your body, mind and soul date-ready. Crank up the music, dance around your bedroom, and do the cat walk with different outfits to really get into your date energy. Leave your serious business demeanor at the office!
2. Dress The Part
If you’re anything like 99.9% of my clients, all you can think about is, “What the heck am I going to wear?” Figuring out how to dress for a first date is no easy task, but if you dress in a way that makes you look and feel confident, then you know you are on the right track.
As a woman, your primary focus should be to dress in a feminine way that honors your beautiful figure. When choosing your outfit, keep in mind that men love women in dresses, skirts, jewelry and heels. And don’t forget about the details! Do your nails and makeup, and style your hair so it’s flowing (think: loose beach waves instead of a slicked back bun).
Your goal for the first date is to appear mysterious, feminine and approachable. Make sure you’re not showing too much skin or dressing provocatively. Remember that sexiness is part intrigue and part curiosity, so less is always better.
And, finally, select an outfit that is appropriate for the date. If you’re going out for coffee, choose a casual outfit like a sundress. If you’re going for dinner or drinks, wear something a little dressier like a little black dress and sexy heels!
3. Keep It Light and Fun
First dates should be playful, fun and interesting. You should leave him wanting more. Avoid heavy conversations, talks about politics or religion, and anything that resembles a bland Q&A session. These topics of conversation make it very difficult to connect and could leave you butting heads or feeling uncomfortable. The key is to be in the moment, remain authentic, and show that you’re coming from a place of curiosity.
Avoid prefabricated “lines” which come across as stiff and insincere. Banter should be light, fun and personalized. The easiest way to circumvent ho-hum interview dates is to break it up with stories and to share interesting things about yourself – like a trip you recently took.
The essence of flirting is expressing your interest in someone without committing yourself too seriously. In a nutshell, flirting is supposed to be fun and playful! Don’t focus too much on “getting it right”, and instead just try to enjoy the moment and let the interaction flow.
Do you feel more comfortable flirting with your words, eyes, touch, smile, or something else entirely? To decide which flirting style feels best for you, think about your strengths and how you can use them to attract men. For example, if you have a killer sense of humor, you may want to flirt with men using your words. If you have stunning eyes, play them up with makeup and use deliberate eye contact to reel him in.
Flirting is essential to show the man you are interested.
It really is that simple. Just remember to get out of your head and prepare yourself so you can shake off your day, be in the moment, and have some fun. If you follow these basic dating steps, you will surely get to that second date!
Also, check out this question from a reader about dating a man who doesn’t speak the same language as you.
Originally published on Lavalife.