“You must remember this: A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh…” But can we get an edit on that “Casablanca” soundtrack classic that makes it clear that two cake pops are meant to be shared, dammit?!
On Friday, romance novelist Alisha Rai tweeted about a very disappointing date she’d been on the day before. Cake pops figured prominently in her story.
“Yesterday I met a guy for coffee and he asked what I’d like to drink and went and fetched the order,” she wrote. “And he came back with two cake pops and I was like aw that’s cute! and then he ate them both. in front of me. …so like he’s clearly a monster right.”
More than 350,000 people favorited Rai’s tweet, seemingly confirming the dude’s monster status. But a day after the date, Rai was still thinking of the guy.
“It’s a whole day (almost twenty four hours) later and I am still marveling over this man who is on a date and buys two whole cake pops—which is equal to the number of people on this date—and doesn’t offer a single cake pop. to said date.”
“I never want to feel that way again.”
One fun, depressing little detail made the story even better/worse:
“I should add they were Valentine’s cake pops with little hearts on them.”
Naturally, a Twitter debate ensued on this Important Issue Of The Day: Was this cake pop-hoarding man a veritable monster, as Rai suggested? Or should she have just gotten her own damn cake pop? People in the “he’s a monster” camp were firm in their conviction:
“That’s the type of monster who wouldn’t share a floating door when the Titanic stinks. Cut him loose.”
“Every day I wake up.
And I’m like, “surely men have run out of ways to be trash, right? There are no more ways.”
One scroll later, and I see shit like this.”
“This guy gave you an instant snapshot of what marriage to him would be like.”
Others read the anecdote and thought, “Really? What’s the problem here?”
“The whole debate seems very strange to me. Am I the only person who simply orders what she wants without expecting someone else to cater for me? I would never expect someone else’s dessert.”
Yall sound entitled to something you could just as easily go up and pay for yourself— Easy (@easyainteasy) February 15, 2020
Meanwhile, one guy was so stumped by the story, he concocted an alternative reading of it:
“I may be wrong, but given the valentines hearts, I’m going for ‘comedy genius’ over ‘monster’.”
Eventually, a still cake pop-less Rai responded to her critics. (Also jeez, am I the only one who really, really wants a cake pop now?)
“If you’re a part of Humorless Twitter and have decided to spend days berating me for being (clearly the world’s least ambitious) gold digger, you may not like my books. Or really anything, I imagine. I’m sorry.”
Who knew cake pops could be so polarizing? Given the strong opinions on both sides here, we figured we’d ask dating coaches and etiquette experts what they thought of this guy’s behavior.
Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life,” said double-fisting cake pops would be rude in pretty much any scenario, not just a first date.
“Whether it was a date or just a friend and you have offered to buy them something to drink, you would also at least offer to share,” she said. “It’s common courtesy.”
“It’s not really about ‘sides’ but about knowing the bigger picture,” she said. “Did he get her the coffee he asked about? What was her response and what was communication like in that moment?”
The guy is clearly lacking in social grace, though, Seltzer said.
“The proper etiquette here is to ask if your date would care for a bite to eat if you are eating as well,” she said. “The sad part for the guy is that he would have totally won her over had he surprised her with that cake pop!”
Indeed. This could have been Rai and her date…
…but someone needed two whole cake pops.