In your own mind, you do everything right. You are polite, kind-hearted, take care of others and a good listener.

You ask great questions during a conversation, smile often, thank him for a lovely dinner and tell him that you would love to see him again. But for some reason every time you go out or socialize with a man, you don’t get asked out a second time. Moreover, you often get the feedback that you are a nice girl but he just didn’t feel the chemistry, and sees you more as a friend.

Sound familiar?

Many of my women clients struggle with creating chemistry with men, despite them being amazing catches. I’ve discovered there are some common patterns and themes that women who consistently fall into the “friend zone” have, and that there are easy ways to overcome them so that attraction is created.

 

Lack of Sexual Energy

A lot of times women lack sensuality and sexual mojo. This can be for many reasons such as not wanting to give the wrong signal, feeling “funny” or embarrassed about flirting or never really learning the art of exuding sexual energy.

This flirty nature expresses itself in the subtle way you carry your body. Flirting is supposed to be fun not overtly sexual. The essence of it is showing your interest in someone without committing yourself too seriously.

Don’t focus too much on “getting it right”, and instead just try to enjoy the moment and let the interaction flow. To help engage in more sensual body language, try showing him you like him with the power of touch. If possible, sit next to him so your knees graze his, or lightly touch him on the arm as you laugh at something funny he just said. Touch him lightly during conversation.

 

Absence of Feminine Flair

Often women are more comfortable dressing casual and don’t see the point to “dressing up”for a date by wearing a dress and heels. The truth is men like to date women who look feminine, so if you really want that guy to see you as more than a friend or coworker, you need to dress the part!

Incorporate more curve-hugging dresses, shorter or split skirts and sexy heels into your wardrobe and I guarantee the men in your life will start to see you in a whole new light. Avoid wearing men’s attire like blazers, Uggs and big pants. Men want to see you in clothes that enhance your feminine and sexy side, not remind them of the masculine world. What is important is that you dress in clothes that showcase what you have in a tasteful way and make you feel amazingly sexy, not slutty.

 

Boring and Ineffective Conversations

Many women complain that conversations can get boring on a date or when meeting a man for the first time. There are things you can do to change that by simply looking at how you are communicating. If you want to keep the communication flow going between you and the man, pause and evaluate what you are offering and doing.

Are you just politely asking a ton of questions and not sharing yourself?

Are you contributing at all to the conversation?

Are you just politely discussing facts rather than offering personal stories with emotion?

Avoid staying on topics like the weather or other trivialities for the entire conversation. That doesn’t create a real connection with him, and he’ll find the conversation and even you boring. Also, if you are constantly talking about money, your job, sports, and politics you might turn him off.. Instead, share things about yourself that are a bit more personal and that reveal more of what you’re like rather than your world view. What’s more is learning the art of sexy conversation. Talking about each other’s favorite food and wine for example, can lead a conversation into the pleasure zone.

So next time you are out and about or on a first date, pay attention to these three main areas when it comes to attraction. After studying and implementing some of these recommendations, you’ll start creating a magnetism that will draw men to you so that at the end of the night results in a kiss rather than a high five!

 

 

 

 

This article was originally published on Digital Romance.