Old-timey dating rules get a bad rap for good reason. Overall, they tend to propagate silly, non-feminist notions about finding love: “Wait for him to ask you out. A lady never makes the first move.” “Follow the three-day rule: Don’t contact your date until three whole days have passed.”
Let’s all commit to being more chivalrous and mannerly while dating: Open the door for each other, don’t talk over one another, text after the date to make sure the other person got home safely, always call when you say you will.
Given how lackadaisical people tend to be in the Tinder era, these small but impressive moves will set you apart from the masses.
“Don’t skimp on the chivalrous behaviors, which not only make a good impression but [make] someone feel special and wooed,” said Samantha Burns, dating coach and author of “Breaking Up & Bouncing Back.”
“Step up your courting game!” she said. “Chivalry never goes out of style. Also, as you grow comfortable with your partner, you can get lazy in love, so it’s important to start with your best foot forward and ideally try to maintain this courteous behavior over the course of your relationship.”
Enough with the half-assed “Wanna hang out?” day-of requests. That’s how we get ourselves stuck in a Netflix-and-chill routine and in situationships.
Legitimize your intentions by asking the person out on an actual date. Yup, a full-on date, where you plan the night out in detail and ― depending on your comfort levels with each other ― maybe even offer to pick your date up, saidJenny Apple, a matchmaker in Los Angeles.
“Obviously it’s OK if they prefer to meet, but have a genuine game plan in advance and let them know you’ve thought things through,” she said. “Being a gentleman ― or woman― is making sure you treat everyone around you with care and consideration, and especially your date.”
Americans send and receive five times as many texts as phone calls each day, according to a survey from International Smartphone Mobility. It’s easy to see why you’d prefer to text while dating: With texts, you have a better chance of avoiding awkward lulls in conversation and you can take your time to dash off something witty and writerly.
But texting isn’t quite the same as a full-on conversation. Calling offers you a chance to really connect with the person before you meet IRL.
“A modern-day edit to this rule would be to text first and find out when someone’s available to talk,” she added. “That shows you have respect for the person’s schedule and you’ll avoid a frustrating game of phone tag.” Keep reading…