You were married for 15 years. You did everything possible for your spouse. You knew how they took their coffee in the morning and what their favorite dish was. You even knew about the various events that took place in their day and expressed interest. When they were unhappy, you tried doing things for them so that they would be loving again. But no matter what you did or said it was never enough. They cheated, lied or turned to drugs and alcohol to fill them up. You finally divorce. Now after the fog has lifted and you’ve come out the other side, you think to yourself, “They never knew me and what I liked… it was all about them.” Moreover, you realize that you keep attracting these same types of people into your life.

This is a common repetitive phenomenon that I see in my practice at The Art of Charm. Amazing, talented caregivers attract narcissists. What is going on?

Narcissists prey on caregivers because they make them feel better. They are insecure and empty, so they rely on external things (like money, sex, expensive cars, etc.) to fill them up and gain attention. When I coach people, I teach them how to detect signs of a narcissist. You can’t change them, but you can change your perception so that you can spot a narcissist the minute you say hello.

Check out my article on the Huffington Post to learn my “4 Narcissist Busters.”