When men and women seek me out for image consulting and style makeovers, 99.9% of the time it’s because they’re going through a major life transition like a marriage, a divorce or a new job. This is because when you start a new chapter in your life, it’s natural to want to update, refresh and revamp your image so you have a “new you” to fit into your new life.
Here’s a perfect example. When my husband and I first divorced and I was a brand new single mom, I had zero clothes in my closet that worked for my new life. I was out there in the dating scene after years of marriage, and all I owned were black, loose-fitting “mom” tops, nursing bras and Birkenstocks! My entire wardrobe made me feel unattractive and was completely unrepresentative of the vibrant woman I wanted to portray to the world. So – those old clothes had to go!
Now, I know that when you’re first beginning to update your image and present a new you to the world, it can be really scary. And because I’m a therapist by training and trade for many years, I want to address those fears first so they don’t hold you back from moving forward.
If you really want to update your look but you can’t let go of your old image, I want you to ask yourself if there’s something about this makeover that’s scary for you. For example, maybe you want to present a more feminine woman to the world, but you hate the way you look in dresses. Or, maybe you want women to see you as a successful man, but the idea of wearing suits makes you cringe.
Think about the person you want to portray to the world, and assess the changes you’ll have to make in order to achieve that goal. Then ask yourself: What is the root issue that is scaring me about these changes?
This can be a tough exercise to do on your own, so if you’re having trouble please reach out and we can work on it together. The end goal is that you transition from saying “I WANT to look sexier/edgier/trendier/more feminine/more masculine/more successful/more put together” and actually BECOME those things. Remember, anyone (including you) can create change – you just have to let go of your fears and take action.
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