You walk into a room and you see that special person who has that “it” factor. You know, the ones where groups of people flock to them like a magnet. So what is it about those people that create that energy and attraction around them?

After coaching both men and women in the field for years, I’ve determined that it really doesn’t take a lot once you understand the fundamentals of my magic formula that I call The 3 F’s. If you pay attention to these simple areas of your life, you will start to create a magnetism that will make you feel confident and will start to attract love and opportunity in your life.

 

Fashion: Dress The Part

If you’re anything like 99.9% of my clients all you can think about is: “What the heck am I going to wear?” Figuring out how to dress for a first date is no easy task, but if you dress in a way that makes you look and feel confident then you know you are on the right track.

As a woman your primary focus should be to dress in a feminine way that honors your beautiful figure. When choosing your outfit, keep in mind that men love women in dresses, skirts, jewelry and heels. And don’t forget about the details! Do your nails and makeup, and style your hair so it’s flowing.

Your goal at first encounter is to appear mysterious, feminine and approachable. Make sure you’re not showing too much skin or dressing provocatively. Remember that sexiness is part intrigue and curiosity, so less is better.

For men, the goal is to present a well dressed, polished and successful looking man to the world, so every piece should have a smart, up-to-date and age appropriate look to it. If you’re still sporting the same graphic tee shirts from your college days or you haven’t updated your wardrobe in a few years, I really recommend investing in a few new basic essential sexy pieces because they make a huge difference when it comes to attracting the ladies.

 

Fun: Keep It Light and Exciting

First dates should be playful, fun and interesting where you leave him wanting more. Avoid heavy conversations, talks about politics or religion or bland Q&A sessions that don’t create connection.

The key is to be in the moment, authentic and come from a place of curiosity. Avoid prefabricated “lines” which come across as stiff and insincere. Banter should be light, fun and personalized. The easiest way to circumvent ho-hum interview dates is to break it up with stories and sharing interesting things about yourself like a trip you recently took.

 

Flirt: Turn it On

The essence of flirting is expressing your interest in someone without committing yourself too seriously. In a nutshell, that means flirting is supposed to be fun and playful!

Don’t focus too much on “getting it right”, and instead just try to enjoy the moment and let the interaction flow.

Do you feel more comfortable flirting with your words, eyes, touch, smile, or something else entirely?

To decide which flirting style feels best for you, think about your strengths and how you can use them to attract the opposite sex. For example, if you have a killer sense of humor, you may want to flirt using your words. If you have stunning eyes as a woman, play them up with makeup and use deliberate eye contact to reel him in. Flirting is essentially to show the man or woman you are interested.

 

So it is really that simple. Just remember to get out of your head and prepare yourself so you can shake off your day and be in the moment to have some fun. If you follow this basic formula you will surely get to that first and second date! And if you still want more practice cultivating the 3 F’s in your life in real time, sign up for my newsletter.

 

 

 

This article originally published on Digital Romance.