You just put your child to bed after a long day of patty cake and picking up toys. Still in the stained large T-shirt and substantial fleece sweatpants you put on at 6am, you look in the mirror and shutter to think about going out. I remember when I had a closet full of oversized black “mommy” tops, a bunch of nursing bras and neutral colored Birkenstock sandals. All of my clothes were too big, too black and too boring. This image was not very sexy to say the least. But more importantly, I wasn’t feeling attractive. I then started going through my metamorphosis. I lost weight, which led to a new wardrobe that fit my body, got my hair updated, visited the make-up counters frequently and poof the tired frumpy mommy was transformed into a sexy mama. Well sort of. The truth of the matter is that wearing attractive clothes with confidence and doing things that make you feel good about yourself allows other people to respond positively to you and gives you the energy to be that good mom you want to be. Here are some simple ways to pamper yourself.

Exercise the mind — Stimulate and challenge yourself mentally. Acquire a skill and learn about things you might not have been able to master before. Discover a new career, go back to school, take classes, learn a language and read books. By doing this, you might tap into a new part of you and infuse you with a newfound energy.

Feed the spirit — Create a calmness, balance and inner peace within yourself by finding “YOU” time. It’s important to do things for yourself and allow others to take care of you for a change. Pamper yourself by getting your nails done, receiving a massage, taking a vacation or going to a yoga class. Maintain old friendships and cultivate new ones so that you have a social life outside of parenthood. Having a good social circle will allow more opportunities to do more things and get involved in different activities that reactivate an energy that may be dormant.

Take care of your body — Uncover your body in different ways. Many times you don’t carve out time or have the energy to exercise. But exercise is a great way to re-focus your energy, lose weight and have that “you” time. Also, you sleep better and have more energy. If you truly have difficulties finding the time to exercise, make it a part of other activities. Run around with your kids or pets, walk with a friend to motivate you and schedule the same time in the day like you do with work/errands. Moreover, get sexy with your body and out of your head by taking a salsa class or pole dancing to regain your body confidence.

Get a great new image — Your “dress up” clothes should look different than your everyday clothes. Really study and know your body type and what colors and styles look good on you. Clothes speak volumes as it tells people what kind of person you see yourself (i.e. conventional, flamboyant, modest, trendy, traditional, etc). Make sure you look at your wardrobe and see if it makes the statement you want and what you want to attract. Always go out looking your best whether you are going to the grocery store or walking your dog. Dress so you feel attractive so you can embody that positive confidence. Finally, get rid of the flip flops and oversized sweats and instead dress nicely by putting on a pair of heels and a dress so you can feel different than your “tired ” look.

Give yourself permission to look and feel your best by feeding your mind, body and spirit. I will leave you with this metaphor to think about. If you are a pitcher of water and you have all of these little glasses to fill, what good are you as the pitcher if it’s empty? You will have nothing to give. So get out there and pamper yourself. You deserve it!

This article was originally published on World Lifestyle here.