So you’ve got the guy, you’ve established a relationship and you find yourself in a comfortable place with one another.

However, sometimes things get a bit stale and the communication between you and your partner feels forced and disconnected. When situations arise women like to verbally regurgitate what happened, but men like to go into their cave and ponder.

It becomes a problem when a man pulls back without explanation. Often a man won’t realize what he needs or even feels until he sits on it. Women think that they are being helpful by trying to talk it out. However, the man perceives this as annoying and nagging. This vicious cycle can throw a couple into a tailspin because the two sexes aren’t “hearing” each other.  It’s seems almost as if men and women talk different languages.

Nonetheless, if you take the time to really understand the gender communication differences and try these simple tips, it can vastly improve the way you relate to one another.

 

1. Don’t nag. Just state your needs

Men often complain of women nagging which they just tune out.  The truth is that men and women have different conversational styles.  Women use twice as many words per minute when talking, talk faster when excited and may interrupt men who are taking longer to find the words to express themselves in a response.  When this happens a man might shut down because he feels cut off or not able to express what he is feeling in the moment (if he in fact knows).  This in turn can cause couples to close down and cease talking to one another.  Knowing this, a woman can activate loving communication by trying to use fewer words and express her feelings in a simple and direct way.

2. Tell him what you want

Again being direct and to the point can be a total turn on for your man.  Done in the right way, a man will appreciate you stating what you want. Instead of saying how you’re not having fun together anymore, you could remind him of a past hot date night and how you would like to replicate it. Or nonverbally just take action like leading him into the bedroom!

3. Praise him

It’s easy to get caught up focusing on the things you don’t like rather than the things you like.  Men absolutely love to be appreciated. So tell him! Accolades can make a man feel on top of the world and proud. Men respond well to compliments when you pick the right moment, be specific, say it in a pleasant demeanor and choose the right place to do it.  For example, when it’s quiet and you two are in the kitchen you could seductively say; “I know I don’t say it often, but I love when you cook dinner.”  These small terms of endearment go a long way and over time can create a habit of being nice to your partner and he will respond in kind.

4. Be light, fun and humorous

When you are in a relationship for a while conversations can get somewhat monotonous and serious. Part of what makes courtship magical in the beginning is the sense of being light and witty.

Men want to have a good time with you!   So instead of answering his questions at face value, try some quick comebacks and be playful.  Your endearing and goofy nature will be greatly appreciated by your man, and it will put the fun back in your interactions.

Remember, you as a woman are 50% of the equation. You can’t and shouldn’t try to change the way a man relates to you by demanding it. You can only change the way you interact with him. If you want to keep the communication flow going between you and your man, evaluate how you are communicating and use these simple tips to help get the results and relationship you want.

 

 

 

This article was originally published on Digital Romance here.